Wednesday, July 05, 2006

The Nuptial Knot

On a hot sunday morning a few weeks ago, my mom and I had been to the wedding of one of my classmates. (for those of you who think i m old enough to marry already, i am not, because this guy is some two years elder to me, though we were school classmates) And a week back was another reception and rather frequently I have been attending weddings of peers and everytime i go to one, i m bumped with the same question "when are you getting married?"

Thats not all, quite a few of my friends and relatives even at non-wedding meetings ask this to me. Well, to be point blank frank, i m rather bugged with this question.

First of all, i dont think i am old enough to worry about getting married. Secondly, I presently think it is a worry get married. I find it far from anything nice to get married.

I wish to clarify that, i have myself seen very happy couples, but few and far in between. A typical couple of today's age is rather tough to define. Both the man and thw woman are well educated and wish to have a career. They have their own jobs and return home at un-holy hours, only to rush back first thing in the morning. I am told weeks could roll by with the husband and wife not even meeting each other. I am not very happy with this kind of a family set up of today. What was a family half a century ago is something i always feel jealous about. It was probably far more peaceful a life in those days. Your needs were far less and affordable. Today life is getting beyond all that.

Typically, when u get married it has be to that both of you should have a good understanding of each other. Else, one of the two would end up suppressing the other. I am not keen on having a maritial affair of the second kind, be it my suppressing my wife or otherwise.

While discussing some kind of issues related to weddings of friends and some relatives during this sunday morning trip i made a passing mention to my mom that "I am not keen on getting wedded. why to take risks in life?" To my surprise, my mom replied instantly "You can wish off life like that. each one has to marry and have a life on his own. Also, such incidents of misunderstanding are bound to be part of life."

I was taken aback. I have never ever heard my mom speaking like this. There have been debates at home about when i should get married. And it is widely accepted that such a thing will not be happening till i finish my doctorate. Be that as it may, my moms comments were just tooo much for me to digest immediately. I took a while.

While my parents have always been liberal and probably wouldnt mind me finding somebody for myself, during yet another conversation as fresh as two days ago, my mom made a passing mention of how a collegue of hers had mentioned that she would have married her daughter to me if only i were a few years older and my mom apparently retorted that she wasnt gonna do all the intercaste stuff. This isnt all that surprising to me actually.

I had decided long ago that the job of finding me a wife would be done by my parents for i have no intentions and hopes being able to satisfactorily accomplish the task myself, for lack of ideas, and enthu to do it. Its good that the indian society lets you worry of a certain other things that such issues dont actually bother u.

appl form at
a)would you like mrs bhaand to be a blogger?
b)would you like mrs bhaand to be a phd?
c)would you like mrs bhaand to call you bhaand?
Hmm... I sorta liked your whole post except for the last few lines... shady they were... [:O]
a)would you like mrs bhaand to be a blogger?
That would be fun

b)would you like mrs bhaand to be a phd?
Doesnt make a difference

c)would you like mrs bhaand to call you bhaand?

helmet, which few lines da [;)]
hmm... reminded of our chat on this topic sometime back :) I don't have too much of an opinion on this issue, but the first few lines reminded me of a joke about a similar guy who was chided at marriages by the grandmoms saying "you are next"... he continues... "I succeeded in stopping this by going to funerals and telling them in return, 'you are next'" :))

And yeah, I agree more than helmet wrt the last few lines. Atleast the Indian society is good in not emotionally pressurizing you to find a partner for life. One responsibility less for those who don't want it. If you are a wannabe romeo, go ahead, good luck, but the rest who are not particularly inclined, the parents will always take care of that part :)

PS: Rotfl at shankar's comment, and one of the posts in the tag board. Don't invite me to your marriage, lest the first thing I would do is to tell your wife when you are not around, that you will feel not loved, if not called by your chella paer "bhaand" :p
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